a major insight i just had is that writing yourself an email may be way more important than writing to some other dude. Writing to yourself is thought, it's imagination, the first pieces of language. maybe writing to yourself comes first and allows you to see what you need to write to others. in any case you have not even gotten to the good part. you should continue writing at very fast speeds until something actually intelligent comes out of it. probably also should learn how to really type too. let's start now. youve tried to learn to type before. one thing that stopped you was a desire to stop trying to tell all ten fingers what to do. and even now, you've improved your speed not by moving the hunt and peck any faster, its; just keeping your fingers centered and not allowing the board to make your hands move around. instead just instantly move to the kys you already kknow are there. and another ting thats hard to stop doing is going back and backspacing everything eleting everything youve done. dont worry about deleting now, you should lay your beuush in broad strokes. and even then, learn to re-think your editing style if you want. cut and paste. you dont have to delete if you want to just cut and paste down the page. whatever overcomes your blocks, but you are old enough by now to overcome them, there's no reason to be afraid anymore because any day could be last. i was so lclose to typeing ":your life could be half over" but the fact is these could be your last moments. makes your mind curcle just thinking about it. but there it is : fear of death.

the best creations can be as mistake. like the word "curcle." yes my mind is doing that, circling and curdling and curling in on itself. that;s called being a reality architect. it's all about the little dirifit off thrift off pieces of your frantic sbriccling. that's what people will adore the most, you may see. in any case, the only thing you can do, is do it. the definition of bloggingL you bring it to the page.