Well, here I am. I doubted that I would ever make it here, but somehow, I did. As I look down upon this great city of Montreal, I wonder: How will the world react to a man in a provolone cheese suit, plummeting toward the ground with 3,000 urinal cakes strapped to his undercarriage?

I guess there's only two ways to find out. And one of them died with Mr Peepers. I told that stupid chimp not to eat his colostomy deposit bag. Oh well.

Give my love to Eunice and Shit-for-brains. Eat this letter.